accosted

monday morning… a nice holiday for some, but usually not me. most labor days are filled with prepping the swimming pool for the season or prepping myself for school or work (time and a half always pays… literally).

this labor day i was on my way home (to chicago, yee!) from staying with my sister (in da burbs). i took the metra out and back into the city. i walked from the metra station to the blue line. there is a blue line stop not far from my apartment, making the trip extremely convenient. my sense of direction is just fine when i’ve already walked the line.

i should preface all of this by saying, i love public transportation. i loved it when i lived in east lansing. i loved it every time i used it in nyc. i loved it when i used it in chicago. i absolutely love it. i hate driving. i like riding in cars, but i hate driving them. one of the most attractive things about large cities is public transportation. add in a train or subway station, i’m sold. busses are cool, but hopping on a train is b.a. i love running/walking down the stairs, scanning my upass, (i don’t really like) going through the turn style (my bag always gets caught), and waiting for the train. i love the performers on some of the busier platforms, i like looking around for mole people, i like listening to other people’s conversations or trying to read whatever page of the book they’re reading. i just like it.

let me also preface this by saying that i like to smile. i like to smile at people and engage them in random conversation. i do it all the time. i flirt with babies and old men and young men and basically anyone who will flirt back.

so when a homeless man says hello to me, i say hello back. i rarely have cash, so i never give any out to those who ask. a quarter is precious to me. that is ¼ of a load of laundry. i can’t afford to give those away, so i don’t. i usually just tell them to have a great day and keep moving.

but this homeless man was different. resilient. aggressive. terrifying. i was turning the corner of a staircase when i saw him. he was a few steps in front of me, and when he saw me he stopped walking until i caught up with him. he forced me to shake his hand. i had headphones in, so i popped one out. i was uncomfortable, but not threatened. we were standing on the stairs. he asked me for money. i told him i had none. he said, “don’t be nervous.” that made me nervous. i was sweaty because it was hot, and i hadn’t showered in days. he asked me for a quarter. i told him i didn’t have any cash. “SHUT UP” his hand was a half inch from my face; i was cross-eyed looking at it. he pulled his hand back and threw it at my face. he had hit my cheek and ran down the rest of the stairs.

i slowly walked down the stairs, hoping to see more people. there was a large support (basically a wall) instead of a platform. the amount of space on either side was not enough for me to feel comfortable walking on with this man still near me. i stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for his next move. he stared back at me from the right side of the wall. i just stood there. he started to come towards me again. 

“don’t be nervous.” i was nervous. i heard him mumble: “are you gonna call the police?” i was holding my phone, but the idea didn't occur to me until he proposed it. “excuse me?” i said. “STOP. STOP TALKING AT ME SO LOUD.” …mmm, no. i wanted people to hear me. “okay, okay.” i said. “are you goin’ ta forest park?” “no, i’m not.” “STOP. you stop talking so loud at me.” 

i heard steps behind me. i was hoping for another student, or maybe a mom with a child, or maybe an attractive business man that does business. OR another homeless person… just my luck. i could see these men (who were most likely unaffiliated) ganging up on me and throwing me on the third rail. i was terrified. my heart was beating and i was really sweating. but my attacker scampered off and i could no longer see him. a train passed me and stopped pretty far away, but i ran to it and jumped on. i didn’t care where it was going; i just wanted to be on it. i found out at the next stop that i was, in fact, going the wrong way. luckily the train i needed was right across the platform. i was home in six minutes.

turns out i did need to go to forest park.