i love you, chicago.

it’s a little funny to me that i started this blog to write about my life in chicago, but i don’t really write about chicago too much. there are no pictures of my apartment, no words about my classes, nothing mentioning much of a social life. i’m not sure why that is.

when i walk down the streets, i rarely listen to music. i feel so annoying saying this, but there is a constant dialogue running in my head. i think about things i want to write about, or what i should have said to that rude man that cat-called a friend and i during our nightly run. i think about the guy i saw for a split second on the train. i was sure we held each other’s gaze a bit longer than what is customary. i think we fell in love for that split second before he stepped off the train.

and the funny thing about that is that i fall in love multiple times a day. more times a day than i have fingers to count them on. i fall in love with the woman that sits at the front desk of my building. i fall in love with babies wrapped in snowsuits, nestled in blankets, hiding in strollers. i fall in love with the bus that is always sitting outside. i fall in love with the walk sign on the corner of my block that i usually ignore. i fall in love with frank, the perfect miniature golden doodle puppy i see weekly (if i’m lucky). i fall in love and plan a hasty destination marriage with at least five strangers every day. i fall in love with the smell of panera bread bagels that fill the street at 11pm every night as i walk home. i am in love with sketchy alley #1 and creepy alley #2 that i pass multiple times a day. (they are hardly sketchy or creepy, mom).

i think that the reason i don’t really write about chicago, or what is going on, or what is new and what is cool is because this place feels like home to me. i feel, that for the first time ever in my life, i really belong somewhere. does this sound corny? because i know it is a bit corny. but i don’t think i’ve ever really fit in anywhere else. sure, i fit in with people. i have always had friends. but how do you know you fit in somewhere, really?

when you know you could be happy living somewhere without having (m)any friends.

and that is how i feel about you, chicago. i really, really like ya. i might even go as far as saying that i’ve fallen madly in love with you. 

i found this buried deep in a series of folders on my computer. i'm not exactly sure when i wrote it, but i fell in love with it, and chicago, all over again.