be.

i am really not sure how i feel about turning 22.

turning 16 was very exciting because it was a milestone.

turning 18 was very exciting because it was a milestone.

turning 21 was very exciting because… you get it.

but what is 22 all about?

i pay my own rent now. i listen to jazz music. i commute on a bike. i make balanced meals, rarely relying on canned items for sustenance.

i am basically an adult, but i feel like i’ve been saying that since i turned 18.

i was an adult when i enrolled at msu.

i was an adult when i had a job that i had no idea how to do properly.

i was an adult when i dropped out of msu and decided to go to community college.

i was an adult working 30 hours a week taking 18 credits.

i was an adult when i decided that i could sleep with anyone i wanted.

i was an adult when i realized i didn’t want to sleep with anyone.

i was an adult when i moved to chicago, knowing no one.

i was an adult making a million mistakes.

i was an adult then, and i’m kind of one now.

i think i’m scared of turning 22 because it seems like the age where i’ll have to start seriously addressing the questions people ask me about my future.

“what do you want to do when you graduate?”

“where do you see yourself in five, 10 years?”

“where do you want to work”

columbia is an amazing place to go to school. most professors are so involved in their industry that they’re eager to help explore future employment options. this was something i wanted when i was decided where i wanted to go to school. i was really focused at 19.

but now… a few days shy of 22, all i want to do is be happy.

i’m okay with being a nanny or a babysitter or whatever and riding my bike around to the library or the pier and just… being.

at least for now. i’m really feeling good about just being where i am.