i buy my underwear for me

i do not know how to spell underwear correctly. despite how many times the red squiggle appears under my spelling, i still think it makes more sense spelled "underware." not sure why i want to spell it that way, but i do. every. time.

anyways, lately i’ve found myself surrounded by the topic of sexuality. people can’t stop talking about miley, moms are slut shaming their daughters, and victoria’s secret keeps sending me free undie coupons. not only that, but i also now live with four other girls i’ve never met before. we have a lot of past life to fill each other in on, and that includes underwear: favorite style, favorite color, ect.

so when one of my roommates was completely appalled at my favorite pair of underwear, i started thinking… who do i buy my underwear for, if not for me?

i know that a lot of people, including myself (in many situations), like to be told what to buy. “women are the number one consumer market,” blah, blah blah. “women tell the men what to buy, so we tell the women what to buy,” blah, blah, blah.

i like full-coverage undies. the more cotton, the better. i don’t understand the fascination that surrounds string underwear.

butt wedgies are the worst, and i won’t even get started on what happens in the front. the best way to combat this is cover it all.

the man repeller wrote about some of her underwear tendencies in her book. she nearly wore her period underwear on her wedding day. her period underwear is full coverage and black.

in GIRLS, ray goes through hannah’s underwear drawer and finds a pair of underwear he thought was crotch-less and really turned out to be full of holes. at first, he seemed intrigued… but then he was grossed out.

in 10 things i hate about you, cameron and bianca go through kat’s underwear drawer and find a black pair of bikini briefs. bianca is intrigued because she says it means her sister wants to have sex one day.

so if black underwear in the 90s was a sign of sex, and black underwear in the late 2000s is reserved for periods… was does this mean now?

i have a lot of old underwear from my victoria’s secret pink days. cute little things with cheeky sayings like “extra credit” and “kiss me.” things i wouldn’t pay $1 for now, let alone $5 at the time. now the underwear i intentionally buy is either nude or black. not because it’s risqué or sexy… so i can throw it all in the wash together and not worry about color mixing or bleeding.

does my underwear say “practical” individually, or just as a collection?

in terms of underwear, have i died before i’m even dead?

disclaimer: this post was originally started in october 2013, which is why living with four girls is referenced. now i only live with one. yay, me.